Tuesday, May 13, 2008

THE LONG WALK

So today I commit to pick up the study. Those who know my study know what a commitment that would be. So I go from the study to my bedroom closet to put something away, and in the process I am tempted, tempted, tempted to divert my attention. It's a long, long walk. So much between the study and the bedroom: the letter that needs to be mailed sitting on the foyer table; the bag of whatever-it-is that's been hunched over itself on the floor of the family room; my guitar leaning against the hearth; the pile of clean socks on my bed waiting for the right sunlight to match (navy blue and black are too close for the lamplight); everything screams at me..."Come on, do me now!" And that there is the crux of my daily dilemma. Focus. I have a focus problem. Thus I have a chaos problem. CHAOS - Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. That's what people with my disorder call it. But I can't stand not to have anyone over. So there. And NO, I do not particularly love living in a mess, so if you are over and make one...clean it up please! It's hard enough for me to handle my own.
I keep thinking I will change. Like maybe that doozy of a fall I took in Kindergarten gave me some sort of organizational amnesia and I forgot how to do that kind of stuff. Keep thinking it will come back to me.
Alas.

11 comments:

  1. You're CHAOS comes genetically. Although your mother is an organized woman, and there are a few in the family that have overcome the CHAOS gene, I am convinced it is genetic. Have you noticed that for the most part, people in our family are either extremely organized or extremely messy? There seems to be a fine line that is hard to stay on somewhere in between.
    I have found the solution for organization is to move every two years or less, and then you have to go through everything on a VERY regular basis. :) Good luck with the study.

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  2. I LOVE your house. There is no where that feels more like home than sitting among your things that there is no time to organize because you are busy being a grandma, an artist, a mother and wife. I never appreciated my mother's mess until it was gone and now I crave being surrounded by the things she didn't feel were as deserving of her attention as the rest of the world around her. There is comfort in chaos and there are times I wish I could let there be a little bit more at my house.
    In time.

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  3. I love you so absolutly the way you are and wouldnt change a thing. your chaos is beautiful bc you are so busy doing what really matters. a lesson i am always relearning.

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  4. Cori!!!! How are you? Susan Buxton knows my in-laws well, and that is how I found you!! Small world. I miss you, and your family.

    Love, Jenny (Volcansek)

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  5. You are so funny! You have changed. I remember the home of our childhood being much more messy, and much less peaceful. I think your standards have changed, my beautiful momma!
    Love you and miss you SOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO much!

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  6. houston is about 3 1/2 hours away from my parents. not too far!!!

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  8. I believe CHAOS is Connors House Always Open Syndrome. Your love and open heart far outweigh any lack of organization. We all feel oh so lucky to be included in your very large circle of loved ones. Never ever change. There are a lot of organized houses out there, but they do not have the warmth and comfort and joy felt in yours.

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  9. Cori I don't think your house has ever been messy once! I love you and hope to see you again soon!

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  10. I agree with everyone. The mess is not important. It's the other things that you are so amazing at that count. And I think Sarah is right, the house is much less messy lately. I'm pretty sure that it's because your messy children have moved out :) only to reveal that you aren't as messy as you thought. I'm sorry I was a contributor to the chaos when I lived there.

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  11. I believe I have a serious case of the same. I think it happens more with the birth of each child?
    I just cannot focus. Bill laughs at how easily I become distracted. If I do focus, I get stuck (for HOURS...not minutes) on sappy stuff like reading Connors family blogs :) and getting all teary-eyed...ooorrr unimportant stuff like finding bargains on the internet. I only pray I can learn to make my distractions my dear children, so they have as fond of memories of me as yours do of you, Cori. You are a wonderful mother/friend!

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