Cori Connors: 9. FIBS IN HAPPY FONTS

Cliche.

I remember distinctly learning about cliche in Mrs. Sonnanberg's seventh grade Language Arts class. She told us that things become cliche because they are true to begin with then get overused. She also told us to be careful with the use of cliche in our own writing.

Today's quote is not only cliche, but its untrue, which kind of shakes the foundation of the term cliche.

When a cliche is really a fib, it can border on dangerous. The phrase DO YOUR BEST in the brain of a struggling soul can do more harm than good. I use the term fib here because in general there isn't real malice in suggesting someone do their best.

The word fib is thought to have begun in the 1600's and is based on the term feeble-fable: an unfounded or untrue statement not intended to cause harm.

I typed the words "DO YOUR BEST" into the subject line in an internet search engine. Up came countless images in cute fonts, all of them cheerily pumping their palms in the air like size 2 cheerleaders.

I understand the enthusiasm.

Here's my trouble with it:

I frankly do not know what my best is. I'm better with "see what you can do." Asking me to push myself beyond my complacent level is a better challenge for me. It allows the concept of me being a work in progress to enter the equation. Doing my best presumes I know what my best is... and I don't.

Also, what is "best"? That's a relative term. My definition of best changes daily, because I change daily. My best guitar playing in the studio is going to be rhythmically and dynamically on the mark so every other instrument and singer isn't thrown off. My best guitar playing live will push and pull the lyric as I'm singing. My best guitar playing when I am grieving will sound too slow and melancholy to someone unaware of its purpose, and when I am angry and need to regulate my feelings it will sound ridiculously loud and offensive to the ear. To evaluate if the use of my instrument is the best would generally require a lot more underlying analysis than the activity itself is worthy of. So please don't ask me to do my best.

Then there's the word "do". We humans are fixated on the concept of "doing." I tried a little experiment where, for a few minutes, I asked myself "what are you doing?" Then two minutes later I asked myself "Who are you becoming?" The doing shifts in its meaning when I view it from the perspective of becoming rather than achieving. The word do implies measurability.

I've done five batches of laundry.

I did the dishes.

I did my homework.

I did twenty pushups and lifted 100 lbs on the bench press.

Doing. It's the easy way out. Or at least the most measurable so we can allow ourself some sense of achievement. I acknowledge that our lives require a remarkable number of doings just to function in society. So I'm not dissing doing. I'm just saying that what we do is not the end-all.

It's the big immeasurable stuff that really defines us.

Tomorrow morning, when I wake up, I think I am going to ask myself who I want to become instead of what I want to accomplish. I'm curious to see what rolls forth.

Anyway, just so you know, the phrase DO YOUR BEST irritates me.

So does "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF." That stirs up all sorts of junk in my brain.