Here’s
the scene: I’m at the stove in the kitchen, stirring up some grub for a crowd,
and from the corner of my eye I observe the people gathered in the dining
area. Most of them know each
other, but there is a smattering of odd men out…people who are unconnected to
the rest. We often invite new people to
our family/friend dinner gatherings. It
keeps the air fresh and new in our house.
If the person is timid, or introverted by nature, I can almost always
count on one of my family making sure they are not left alone and
uncomfortable. I do love this about my
clan.
My
son, John, is particularly gifted with people.
Most people feel at ease around John, especially new people. It’s always
been that way. He has a way of
perceiving people’s needs, and not flailing around to fulfill them, but quietly
he enters their space and lets them know he is safe. My classic image of John is sitting on a
chair, amid a crowd of people, leaning in toward someone else, in deep,
friendly conversation, a laugh and a nod punctuating now and again.
Someone
asked me once what made John so interesting that everyone wanted to be his
friend. My answer:
Interesting
people are interested people.
John is blessed to have a natural instinct that makes him extremely interested in people…in what makes them tick, in what they like to do, and where they have been, and where they’d like to go. He is not playing a part; he really is interested.
Sometimes,
when I’m forced to be in a place where I don’t know people, and I’m kind of
intimidated, I simply remind myself that interesting people are
interested. That's how conversation begins. Most people are willing to
talk about themselves, if asked sincerely.
Most people, unless they are real grumps (and there are some out
there…but relatively few) are willing to share some of themselves, if the
person asking is sincerely interested. I think what makes John look so popular
in a group is not that he knows how to flit around the way teenagers think
popular people do, but that he knows how to find one person, and be interested.
His gifts are not so much that he knows what to say, though he is talented in
that, too. It is that he knows how to listen.
 |
| John is particularly interested in his fabulous wife, Ashley! |
My
HOPE is that I remember to forget myself when I am in the company of other
people, at least to consider that my opportunity to be with other humans is a
treasure box waiting to be opened. My interest in what is inside that box not
only makes the experience personally pleasing, the by-product may be that it
makes me seem interesting too. Win/Win.
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