Cori Connors: Liberated LDS Women

This sign has hung inside my
pantry door for 20 years

Before this pandemic closed the chapel doors in our churches, I was invited to speak at a Women's Conference for a group of young single adults who share my Faith. (That's "Faith" with a capital "f", meaning religion. There's a broad spectrum of individual faith within our collective Faith.) I had been asked to speak and sing, which I was happy to do.

My guitar and I travelled to a neighboring community on a November Saturday morning, where a couple hundred female members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had gathered. They were between the ages of 18 and 30.

As a preface, it would probably help to know, for context, that our religion is Christian, and strongly supportive of traditional families. I was raised in this church, as part of a non-traditional family, but I still maintain the lower-case faith that gives me a general sense of peace, hope and well-being. That being said, I acknowledge that it was not easy growing up in a family-based church and being raised by a single mother. Harder for our mom than the rest of us, I’m afraid. There was a spoken and unspoken tenet that in order to fulfill our utmost divinity, we had to have an eternal partner. Not so much mention was made that we have an eternity to make that unfold. My analysis, from my limited perspective, is that we tend to give human parameters to vast godly elements. We compress eternity into the human life-span. I think it’s a mistake. But what do I know? (I’ll answer that: not much! And the more I learn, the less I realize I know.)

Anyway, I was aware that this collection of adult women, who were not married, were part of this same religion, raised by my generation, who were raised by the generation above us, and even though we have made progress in our reverence and respect for the capabilities and callings of women, we are in flux. I was given the freedom to speak on what I felt inspired to share, and to use my own instruments – guitar and voice and mind, and for that I felt grateful and responsible. So I did what responsible people do when preparing for such things. I researched, pondered and prayed.

I sat on the stand in the large chapel, next to a young woman who appeared to be in her early 20’s. She was exuberant and kind

and made me sound much better than I am when she introduced me to the group.

I spoke, and I sang, and we laughed, and cried just a little. Afterwards she very sweetly thanked me privately, sharing her personal thoughts as I was presenting:

“That was great,” she said. Really. As you were talking I said to myself…is she… is she… wait, I think she might be… liberated! She’s a liberated woman. Wow! Can we get a picture with you?”

Beautiful women at the Womens Conference.

I took it as a compliment. Yup, you can be a covenant woman, worthy of all that Lord has made available to commandment keepers, and you can also be “liberated.”

On the other hand, I think it’s a little sad that we attribute general fair mindedness to being liberated.

I suppose it has to start somewhere, and like the “Black Lives Matter” signs and rainbow flags we place in our windows, we have to be willing to be obvious in our desire to be inclusive without disregarding our covenants. We must speak up. I must speak up.

My sister Libby and my grandkids
in a Black Lives Matter march

As for the divine nature of the creature who bears the womb, I crave for her the equality she has been guaranteed in the truest most eternal sense of the word. I regret the habits of guilt and shame I acquired as a good little girl. I wasn’t born with them. I learned them, with all the other little girls. But I also allow forgiveness of others, and myself, and pray for healing personally, as a family, and as a society. Oh, goodness, I do hope I am liberated!

Here’s a portion of my notes from that talk given in the YSA Women’s Conference:

I texted my daughter, Kate, who lives in New York while she’s earning her doctoral degree. I said:

“I get to speak/sing at a stake young single adults women’s conference this weekend. Is there something that you think would be or would have been spiritually helpful for you to hear at such a gathering?”

Her reply:

“Hmmm… I don’t know – maybe a reminder that they aren’t incomplete beings waiting to be completed by a marriage and family – that they are whole and complete and magnificent in and unto themselves. I think sometimes an inadvertent message we hear in church is that individuals are incomplete without spouses and children and I think that message can tend to stunt the spiritual, mental and emotional growth of single people – particularly women.”

We are not dissing marriage. But we are encouraging you beautiful women to define yourselves individually before your Lord.

For this next little while we are together, will you just let yourself think about your personal relationship with Jesus and no one else?

Christ has shown us, and told us, that he loves us without needing reasons. So if you think you can earn your way into his heart, you are mistaken. We live good, obedient lives for our own sakes. It turns us into better souls, and it gives us access to places we may want to end up one day. That’s why we live good lives. That’s why we obey. But his love for us is not hinged on reasons.

In the words of a prophet, Thomas S Monson:

"My dear sisters, your Heavenly Father loves you - each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there."

(Sing No Reason)

Let us love ourselves and each other that way. It is a commandment, after all. And we are covenant women.

Let's liberate, Ladies!