One of the most beautiful things in my life, so far, is being able to observe the unfolding of the wings of my grandchildren. Go ahead and search unfolding of ladybug wings on YouTube. It’s fascinating.
Being a grandparent is lovely, for those of us who get to do it with a healthy amount of hands-off love. By that I mean that the actual parents are doing the parenting. I know more than a few grandparents who have had to jump into the parenting mode and my hat is off and head is bowed to them. I also know grandparents whose children have, for unfathomable reasons, kept them out of their grandchildren’s lives. My heart breaks for them.
Lucky us, we have been welcomed into the hearts and homes of all eleven of our grands. These are truly some of my greatest joys! And because they are great joys, I also know they may also be the source of great sorrows, because of the pendulous nature of love. But for now, it's pure joy.
Each divine creation that emerged through the cocoons of our children has been uniquely beautiful. Today, I’m thinking about Ruby, my son John’s third-born. Roo is the girl who throws her arms around me, when Covid does not interfere, and pulls me firmly against her heart. She keeps me there, and I rub my hands against her back and whisper “I love you’s” into her ear. Roo gives that extra measure of moments in her embraces, very unusual for teens, and I inhale and hold my breath, never wanting to leave the moment. She’ll tell me how much she has missed me in this pandemic while she lays the side of her head against my chest.
Roo and I have shared a lot through her eleven years. I’ve loved the times she has stayed with us, or I have stayed with her while her parents have been out of town. She is one of my favorite cooking partners. And she is a true artist, storyteller, dancer, singer, writer, musician. The creative force is strong in this one. One of her finest gifts is the ability and desire to empathize with others. She feels the feels. This is great for others in her circle, and hard on Roo, because quite frankly, empathy is exhausting. Roo also suffers from a chronic pain syndrome that intensifies pretty much everything in her young life. Still, she is a seeker of peace and joy, and she is willing and able to reflect what she finds.
Ruby is a communicator. She is a whisperer, a shouter when necessary, a hugger, and a sender of notes. I love Ruby notes.
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| Roo gives such awesome notes of encouragement and love |
One of my favorite notes from Ruby hangs in our study. She must have written it in second or third grade. Its been tacked on the wall with a piece of scotch tape for years now. She's drawn a picture of the two of us inside a heart, and handwritten these words:
"You are the best prsin.
I love you so math."
One of the things I have loved about Roo is her willingness to use appropriate words and not worry about how they look, as long as they can be deciphered. This is so healthy. I get pretty frustrated when teachers punish kids for spelling errors in creative writing. Spelling should never get in the way of creativity. Fear should not be a factor when we dive into the creative mode. Roo’s auditory learner hears and perceives in her own way, so sometimes words come out just slightly off kilter. But I would rather her use the best word than the safest word, which might be the one she knows how to spell. Sound out the word PERSON in your head. Prsin is how it sounds, and it doesn’t bother me a whit to have a kid spell it that way. Especially not in the era of spell checks.
It brings me particular delight to think about Roo writing the word MATH for the word MUCH. Both words have the same sort of visual balance, taking about the same space on paper. And the emotion of someone saying “I love you so much!” takes a darling twist when it is changed to “I love you so math!”, (especially when neither of us particularly loves math.)
So when I want to tell someone I really love them… I mean really, really feel the feels for them… then I will whisper “I just love you so math!” And every time I do, I will channel the unbridled love of my Ruby.
I love you so math!
