My friends Mark Oborn and Steve Dillree are
horsemen. Not cowboys -- horsemen. They are gentlemen, with white-collar
professions, and they also know their horses. When I was president of the Young
Women organization in our local church, I asked Mark if he would be willing to
teach us a little bit about horse whispering.
He and Steve have a reputation for knowing how to communicate with their
horses without yelling at them or pounding on them. They graciously
agreed.
On a beautiful Wednesday evening, in the warmth
of early summer, we drove twenty-five teenage girls and a handful of leaders up to
Steve’s place, where the corral and yard are pristine and idyllic. Mark asked us to sit on the grass. His horse stood calmly beside
him. Mark spoke to us about how this magnificent creature communicates.
I’m not an animal person, I am sorry to say. I’m not
sure why. Maybe it stems from having been bit in the eye by an Afghan hound
when I was little. I try to fake
it. I smile and make those little cooing
sounds people make when they see a puppy, but it’s more often than not a
façade. It kind of baffles me, because I consider myself a loving and caring
person. So when Mark asked us all to come talk to his horse and gently stroke
her head, I pulled out the faker in me.
When my turn came Mark said “You aren’t comfortable with horses, are
you?” I was surprised, because I thought
I did a pretty good job stroking that muzzle and whispering sweet nothings. But
Mark saw right through me, and so did his horse, I guess. I lacked confidence.
In his short discussion with us Mark talked about a
thing he calls humble confidence. I loved that pairing of words. He spoke about the responsibility he had of
being a steward over his horse. And since the beast was bigger than Mark, he
needed to show the horse that his job was to follow the command of his master.
And yet, the master needed to understand the nature of his servant, and know
her personality. He taught us to
approach the horse the same way we approach the Lord…with humble
confidence. Confirmed in our own minds
that we are capable, are called, and are empowered to act, yet respectful and
teachable about it.
I quite like the juxtaposition of the traits humility
and confidence. There is a natural response to someone approaching you
with humble confidence; a trust that carries mutual respect. When I think of the people who surround me in
my circle of love, I am in awe of their humble confidence, which has led them
to success in their professions. Every
one of my children is a trained professional: a teacher, a speech language
pathologist, a doctor, and national director of a worldwide events
organization. They are all amazing at
their work; well respected, successful, accomplished. And they are all humble. Humble, in the most noble aspects of the
word, which sort of boils down to their ability to recognize that we are all
children of a divine being, which gives us divine potential…every one of us… and there is much we
can learn from each other. My husband’s success as an attorney, a city
councilman and mayor, and a judge was based on this natural instinct. He is not a schmoozer, and the politics of
public service were, and still are, uncomfortable for him. My mother, and subsequently my sister, are
accomplished and beloved real estate agents because they sincerely care about
the people they serve, and try to incorporate their intelligence and expertise
into the work, while still being down-to-earth and making their clients feel at
home, so to speak. They all understand that confidence is necessary. But confidence without humility is merely
cockiness. And who wants to work with someone like that?
I heard somewhere that confidence is remembered
success. When one of my daughters left
home I made her a pillowcase with that saying on it, so she would remember that
she has many successes behind her, and there would be more to come.
My HOPE is that we recognize that our confidence is
best used in the company of humility; that in humility we do not think less of
ourselves, but that we think of ourselves less, and others more.
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