HOW MY EXPERIENCE WITH FASTING HELPS ME HANDLE THE MESS WE'RE IN (2025-28)

My whole long life I have identified as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I remember as a child mustering the courage to participate in our monthly fasts, held on the first Sunday of each month. It really was courage I had to muster.

I've always found comfort and pleasure in food, and just thinking about not having it still causes a hefty dose of anxiety. When my babies were small and distressed, my first instinct was to unbutton my blouse and pull them against my breast. I can hear the voice of my mother whispering, "Get that belly full and they will sleep through the night." 

It's not that I can't go without; I can actually go many hours and not eat because I'm focused on something, but if you tell me, or I tell myself, that I CAN'T eat, you better believe all I'm going to think about is food. So the practice of fasting, when you think of it as merely not eating or drinking, feels impossible and inhumane to me.

I've found that the best way to tell if I'm truly experiencing a spiritual fast is if I am emotionally ok with hunger. Having the confirmation of The Holy Spirit doesn't remove the pangs and the thirst, but it does make it worthwhile. The way I handle it is I begin with a dedication of my fast, professing my recognition of those I believe to be my higher power; God the Father and His  divine team, including Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, Heavenly Mother, and my appointed angels or guardian angels. These are the folks I trust have my best interest at heart. Then, as the day unfolds I feel supported in my efforts. I begin my prayers as Christ instructed, addressing the Father in the name of my divine advocate, Jesus Christ. I expect that's the doorway to the team. I feel myself, in a sense, set apart from a regular day.

If I tell myself I'm not eating just for the sake of not eating, I will for sure talk myself out of it. I know, I need more self respect and devotion to my body. But if I commit to a power I trust is greater than my own, I find I'm able to do things I could not otherwise do. So hooray for faith, right? 

I am not always great at purposeful fasting, but I do know firsthand the power of it. It doesn't always bring the outcome I desire, but I am strengthened by the process and feel more secure in my trust in the wisdom of a loving God who knows my end from my beginning.

When I feel pangs of hunger, or a lust for flavor and I am fasting with a purpose, I instinctively send words heavenward - spoken and unspoken - praying for whatever purpose I have dedicated my fast. Its as if the hunger elevates my supplication. It makes it easier to obey the commandment to pray always.

Fasting, when I'm doing it right, makes me feel grateful. I am reminded that I pretty much have available to me all that I need to survive. I acknowledge that all good things are gifts from God.  A monthly fast feels like touching home base, if for no other reason than to remind myself that I'm still in the game.

On Fast Sundays we have what is called Fast and Testimony Meeting during our weekly Sacrament Meeting. Our son John told us about the day his daughter Ruby asked on the way to church: "Is today Free Speech Sunday?" 

Ruby meant to ask if this was the Sunday when they open the microphone to congregants to bear testimony of the divinity of Jesus of Christ. Anybody in the congregation can go up to speak. So I guess Ruby is right, it is free speech Sunday, though the topic is supposed to be the Savior Jesus Christ and should be uplifting in order to be a testimony.  You don't have to fast to have a testimony of  Christ, but I think it helps. Fasting is saying to the world, "Step back for a minute, OK?"

Today, Saturday, was a day when I had planned to join fellow disgruntled and frustrated American citizens in a protest march in Salt Lake City. I join other citizens who love our country and our constitution in protesting the methods of our current president and his unelected cohort. These grown men are wielding power swords like three year old playmates dressed up in cowboy boots and superhero underwear. When someone with basic respect does what they are doing, and are in such positions of leadership, the least they should do is explain themselves and reassure us with explanations, if not tenderness for how much it hurts. Instead, they disappear in their golf carts. The protests organized in every state in America were called Hands Off. I want my voice to join the family in resisting the abuse. I had every intention to join them today.

But this morning I decided to remain at home, driven by an unusual desire to, for this moment, be still. All afternoon, as I imagined myself trodding down the asphalt path of protest, shouting my frustrations with the state of our Union, I instead offered up a prayer. Protesting, I suppose, before my Lord, knowing there is power in the act. I needed, for my own reasons, to remind myself that as vulnerable as I feel these days in a country that seems to be spiraling, I am empowered by my belief that regardless of the state of this place I live, I am a child of divine birth whose soul will endure beyond this time and beyond this realm. It does not mean I don't care. Not at all. But lately I feel a deep-seated need to re-center myself spiritually. I think we're all going to need something deeper in order to survive this with our health and integrity intact. 

In a sense, I suppose I'm using the methods I've learned through fasting to deal with my concerns for our country. I gave myself space today to own it personally, not as part of a marching crowd, though I have marched, and will continue to march in solidarity against oppression and oligarchy. Today I needed to retreat within myself. I realized that when I get that anxious, frustrated, angry electric buzz regarding the state of our country, and our whole world for that matter, I can remind myself that my allegiance is to Jesus Christ. Then, following that with my love for liberty, I let my mind rise in prayer. I testify to myself that whatever happens I am safely tucked under His heart. With this as the foundation, I will then plant my voice and my feet where the Holy Spirit directs me. My confidence rises when I turn to the source of true strength. 

I hear the words of one of my favorite scriptures floating through my weary mind:

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still. with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.     D&C 123:17

Lord, show us your arm! 

I find myself singing this in my head a lot lately.