Here’s the beauty of the season of Lent for me and the reason I’m not getting a lot of cleaning and organizing done around my house. It involves the use of modern technology, one of the most amazing blurses of my current life.
Jesse Jackson died last week and I thought I’d honor his influence today with a quote that included the word “change”. I’ll often take certain words to the internet and ask about the etymology of the word itself. There are a number of sites I often use that will show me how the word evolved through the ages; the Latin, Celtic or Greek words from which it is derived, and its various meanings through the ages. I won’t distract myself by explaining the etymology of change here, you are welcome to do that yourself. It should only take a minute.
During Lent my minutes turn into hours because one question leads to another and before you know it, I am onto a whole different subject, more often than not leading to moral ponderings that have few conclusions but are nonetheless worthy of contemplation.
Right now, I am trying to type as I ponder the push and pull of the word “change” against the word “steadfast”, a word for which I also checked the etymology. My religious undertows lead me to desire being defined as “steadfast”, but on further examination I conclude for the moment that being defined as one who is willing to “change” is on a higher moral level. This new information to my mind and heart create conflict, which is becoming more and more familiar to me. It makes me look inward, and upward. I pause and seek spiritual guidance in my ponderings, imploring the Powers That Be that I will not be swayed by logic in the wrong direction. Seriously, I consider the Holy Spirit or my Guardian Angel or whatever powers from the ancient realm of me to be my most valuable allies as I navigate mortality. Without them I am left with my limited understanding and past experience, and I don’t trust either of those.
With the guidance of those influences I conclude for the moment that I am most generously entrusted in this particular realm-of-being with the capacity to choose, which means change is absolutely essential. If I understand that I am an evolving being, then the first factor to allow that to happen is understanding and embracing the idea of change.
But I also understand the value of steadfastness, or not shifting with the breeze, or even with the storm. Certain aspects of my life should matter more than others. Certain things that sink down to the bottom of myself hold me to the ground, keep me focused as I evolve, make me trust myself and others. I respect these things and, in many ways, hold them sacred. I want to be steadfast, to not shift, to be dependable and trustworthy to myself and others. It’s hard for me to respect wishy washy people.
So now I’m stuck between defining myself as steadfast and being willing to change.
And then I realize I can be both.
And I am.
Steadfast in concepts. Shiftable in practice. That’s where I stand at the moment. My brain capacity has been reached. I need to go do something mindless. So I leave it at the momentary conclusion that I can be firm in moral conviction and changeable in how I manifest it.
No doubt this will all swirl in my brain, sift down into my heart, spark up to my brain then back to my heart countless times as I clean off the kitchen counter and move through this day.
Hooray for Lent!
Maybe the etymology of the word change defines change itself.
