2023/18. THE PEOPLE WHO SWEETENED THE DAY

Effective work, accomplishments, great aesthetics, magical design... these are all of little value without people. God Himself, having created the most magnificent things, crowned his work with the creation of people. We are nothing without each other.

I have long believed that there are no accidental crossings. Our lives intersect on purpose. The Lord did not command us to love our lives, he commanded us to love each other. The happiest people I know are the ones who have learned to master this, regardless of the condition of their lives.

The day we celebrated Dave’s retirement from the judicial bench was sweetened by the presence of people we love. I do not use the term love lightly. While many would profess to like most everyone, but love only a select few, Dave and I would say the opposite. We love broadly and sincerely. We love, not only because we were commanded by the God we trust, but because it feels natural. When I remind myself that I love everyone I find it easier to accept, include and embrace. Like comes later, love comes first. I’ve also learned that I can love someone and not particularly enjoy them, and that’s ok too.

We love and like every human soul who came to honor Dave’s service the other day. People of social and political consequence, whom we consider dear friends. People whose daily employment made them part of Dave’s circle of friends. People who share our DNA. Folks who share our faith and community spirit. And, no doubt, spirits who once occupied bodies who love David as well, hovered in the light above us. The greatest, most memorable part of this celebration were the people.

 

The Chief Justice of the Utah Supreme Court, the President of the Utah State Senate, The Presiding Judge and fellow judges in various state courts. Other State Senators who are dear friends, church leaders, business leaders, city leaders… these are the kind of people with whom Dave interfaces in his work. These are the people who also call him friend. 

Judge Mike DiReda

Stuart Adams, President of the Utah Senate

Mike DiReda, me, Dave, Stu Adams, Chief Justice Durrant

Trial Court Executive, Glen Proctor

Judge Connors

Yours truly

Associate Presiding Judge Ron Russell

Well deserved applause

Chief Justice Durrant

And just as important and valued in our hearts and minds are those who find comfort in more quiet places, with varying degrees of passion for public exposure. We rejoice in the variety of people who occupy our hearts. David is Christlike in that he is no respecter of persons. All are alike to him. These all call him friend. Good people from many places joined us at the courthouse on Thursday March 9^th, 2023. We preserve the pictures to make it easier to preserve the memory.

Judge Hyde, Linda Osgood J.A., Chris Palmer, Court Security Director

JacLyn Briscoe, Dave's former assistant
Jason Nelson (the new judge replacing Dave,) Bailiffs

the back of Mark Robinette's head :-) 

Sgt. Cox, Bailiff Supervisor and her son

Judge Edwards, friend Brent Hill, county attorneys

Dave's longtime secretary during private practice,
and my cousin, Marilyn. So dear to us.

The DiRedas and Alison Brown, former Clerk of court

Fabulous staff of court

Dave's first Farmington Bailiff, Steve Coxey and Judge Hamilton

Other beautiful people filled the courtroom seats,
overflowing into Judge Edwards' courtroom

Our family sat at the counselors tables.

Dave's assistant Kalin and Judge Dave Hamilton

Hallidays and Humphries

Son in law Dave Petersen and grandkids Gracie and Joe

Clan Connors on the left, Clan Hansen on the right

Judges Edwards, Ortega, Valencia and Sheriff Valencia.
Judge Valencia will be taking David's chambers and courtroom.

Dave's trusty team Audrey, Kalin, and Cassey

Shipleys and Smiths

Good friend and attorney Cara Baldwin

Judges and Commissioners filled the jury seats

Cheri and Judge Mike DiReda

Daughter Annie and our grandkids Beth, Tess and Walter

My siblings sent lovely flowers

with our son John
Judge Rob Dale in back

Rockstar Bailiffs

Daughter Sarah Petersen and Family

Last, but far from least, my sister Libby (in Dave's chambers).
She and all our family have been faithful from day 1.
We feel incredibly blessed.

2023/17. ONE LAST KISS

Betcha didn’t know this: judges, like doctors, take turns being “on call”. Well, maybe you knew it. I didn’t, fifteen years ago, but I do now. In fact, just for old time’s sake, I snapped this photo from my side of the bed last night when Dave got up to sign a warrant. And that was his second one since midnight. Though his retirement festivities were last Thursday, he’s still running hard until the gig is up, which is tomorrow. Don’t you think it’s funny he’s on call his very last week as a judge? Maybe they were trying to make retirement look extra good.

Another thing I would not have guessed when Dave took this position is how much homework is involved. Serious amounts of late-night homework! My typical late evening view of Dave, if we are lucky enough to have a mutual sitting-down opportunity, is him seated on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table, with a stack of papers on his lap, a pen in his hand, his eyes scanning reams of paperwork. He’s preparing for the next day’s hearings. (This job would do me in! SO much reading!) I’m not sure he’ll know what to do without a stack of papers in his lap. Or, for that matter, I’m not sure what he’s going to do on vacation without checking his email for matters that need his review and signature.

a typical night time view from where I sit.
(Note the Ruffles.)

Also, now we’ll have a couple extra black silk dresses hanging in our closet, with the initials D.M.C. embroidered inside the collar.

 

Last day in the robes.

Last night, for fun, I jumped back to the very first entry I ever made in my blog. That was 15 years and 774 entries ago. Ironically that entry was about Dave’s first day as a judge. I talked about his being sworn in as 7:30 am and getting right to work that very day, the weight of his silk robes being strangely heavy.  Before his first case arrived, I asked permission to approach the bench. He laughed and nodded. I strolled up and planted a kiss on his lips. He leaned forward and I stretched up. 

I’ve been stretching up to meet him ever since.

Today, on his last day of hearings, my sister Libby and I decided to visit the courtroom and observe, like we did on the day he was sworn in. His bailiff, when the judge entered, announced, with a delightful flair:

"All rise for the honorable, 

and legendary, 

Judge David M. Connors."

Last day in court.

Dave flanked by his bailiff Stan and assistant Kalin.

When his last case was heard I asked permission to approach the bench one last time. I strolled on up, stretched my neck, and planted one last kiss on the man in the dress.

Thank goodness I have no desire to ever say to him, (as sadly a pitiful number of women say to their husbands):

"I’ll see you in court!"

2023/16. WHAT HE DID - WHAT I SAID

We heard from the Presiding Judge, a former Presiding Judge, The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, the Chief Executive of the Court and the President of the State Senate. All men. I represented the women and the common folk, those of us who know the man in his work shirt with the worn-out collar. I've known him longer and deeper than the rest of them.

DAVE’S RETIREMENT – CORI’S REMARKS

Recently, on one of those rare days when I get the urge to organize, I found myself sorting through a drawer filled with old papers and journals. At the bottom of the pile was a journal with only a few pages filled, one that had no doubt been lost once upon a time and replaced with another. Tucked between the pages of that book was a piece of yellow legal paper folded in half. On it, in my handwriting and in Dave’s handwriting, was a little Home Evening exercise with the heading that said something like “Personal Goals for My Life.” 

Each of us had written three distinct personal goals, and then three goals for our family. We were newlyweds at the time, no children yet, with a vast empty canvas before us. At this moment I cannot even recall what I had written. But I remember sitting on the edge of our bed, reading that fading paper and noting how beautifully my David had fulfilled, and was continuing to fulfil his goals. These are the three things he wrote, as I recall them, because of course I could not find the paper in my recent search for it: 

1. I hope to be a loving husband, one who provides and cares for his family, and to be a good father one day. 

2. I want to remain devoted and faithful to my religious convictions and to my God. 

3. I would like to one day be able to serve my fellow man either in public service or as a judge. 

Regarding Goal #1 - I can tell you firsthand, without equivocation, that he has faithfully and almost to perfection fulfilled my portion of goal number one. He is a most loving husband, has provided faithfully and comfortably for his family, and I believe each of our four children and eleven grandchildren would tell you he has been and continues to be a good father and grandfather. 

Regarding Goal #2 -David would be the one to tell you, and I would stand as a witness, that he continues to live a life that keeps religious conviction prominent in his life, but he would not force his own convictions on you. Deep spiritual questions led him to his faith, and he values questions as much as he values answers. His ability to balance the two, to hold steady, and return his focus to the Christ centered fulcrum of his beliefs rather than weighty matters that teeter on either end, has provided a firm foundation of faith that I admire and hold to when my own faith ebbs and flows. 

Regarding Goal #3 - 

Today we gather to basically celebrate the honorable fulfilment of goal number three. We moved to Farmington from Pennsylvania in 1982. In 1984 he was elected to our neighborhood homeowner’s board. A few years later when our oldest, our son John, was in elementary school, he and a few friends, seeing a need to organize a recreational sports league in Farmington, established the precursor to the Farmington City Recreation. The Farmington Area Baseball League, FABL, was pivotal in creating a sense of community for our rapidly growing city. In 1993 Dave was elected to Farmington City Council. He served two four-year terms before being elected as Mayor. His twelve years serving the City of Farmington ended in 2006. In 2007 he was appointed as Utah State District Court Judge by Governor Jon Huntsman. 

Few would know it, but I do. I see David’s fingerprints all over the places and people we love. When I drive by a Farmington ballfield with lights on at night, I remember the excitement we felt when those lights were first installed by a fledgling baseball organization. I see neighbors playing on the soccer field in our neighborhood and recall the pushback Dave got when he and his fellow board members stood their ground and refused to sell that board-owned lot for a relative pittance so a house to be built on it. Every Christmas, when we are performing my Christmas concerts in the Farmington Arts Center, I stop and look at the bronze plaque placed on that building recognizing Mayor Connors and city councilmembers who decided our city needed such a facility. I ceremoniously reprimand him each year that the place isn’t larger and more suited to performances, and he reminds me that it was the very most we could afford as a city at the time. 

As any of you who work in this building know, the role of a judge has its pros and cons. The best of days Judge Connors was privileged to bind people together, under the law, for beautiful purposes. There are families here today whose marriage and adoption certificates bear the name of Judge Connors. On the worst of days marriages were dissolved, loved ones were harmed, or their lives taken. Horrible scenes have been recounted in this space as well. David’s ability to trust the law to maintain order and balance is one of his finest gifts. One day we were in Harmons grocery store and a woman stopped us. “Aren’t you Judge Connors?” It’s always a bit frightening when a stranger asks you if you are a judge. He responded in the affirmative. Sometimes I respond; “Why do you ask?”. This woman continued; “You sent me to jail.” Then she added “It was the best thing that could have happened for me. I needed it, and you must have known I needed it, and I want to thank you. I had a chance to re-examine my life and my part in it. I’m doing really well now. I’m working, and I’m figuring it out, and I never could have done that while I was on the road you took me off of.” 

David would be the first to tell you that the law itself took her off that road. His part was interpreting and properly using the law. Dave has always, since I have known him, been a lover of the law, a devotee of the constitution of the United States, and a compassionate participant in the well-being of mankind. He is the most level-headed person I know, the most steady and true soul I have ever had the honor of knowing, and the most trustworthy person to have worn a wedding ring on his finger or the robes of justice. He has filled his role as husband, as father, as believer, as public servant, and as judge with integrity, wisdom and most of all with pure love. I am blessed and honored to share his home, his children and his name 

One of David’s favorite writers, Johann Goethe said: The person born with a talent they are meant to use will find their greatest happiness in using it. David was born with a brilliant mind and a massively good heart, and a talent for combining the two. He is therefore one of the happiest humans I know. That heart and mind are interested in many things. Goethe also said: Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes. Here’s to a very big change, and many exciting tomorrows ahead, my Love. 

2023/15. THINGS THAT HELPED SWEETEN THE DAY

Usually it's Judge Connors keeping order in the court, with the help of his very capable staff, but Wednesday night it was my team doing the ordering. We loaded boxes and trays and all sorts of everything else into our cars, drove the short route to the 2nd District Judicial Complex and rolled them cart by cart into the back entrance of the courthouse. It was after midnight when we finally finished. Our waking hours… our working hours… are often in the dark. It's a genetic trait Dave married into.

Thursday would bring Dave’s retirement open house. Knowing how full the day ahead would be, we gathered all our silver trays and flower arrangements, multiple tablecloths, two boxes full of Dave’s various plaques, awards, clocks and medallions, and the large painting Tom Plummer had created, where Dave is seated rather royally before shelves of books, and  carted them into the courthouse well after public hours. We had access because we know the judge. In fact, it was the judge who did most of the lugging. (We keep him humble.)

Glen Proctor, Trial Court Executive for the Second District, who is over every aspect of the courts except the judges themselves, had assembled multiple tables outside Dave’s courtroom. As there were no hearings scheduled for the following day, they had cordoned off the hallway and seating areas for Dave’s retirement celebration. Glen, if he ever tires of his taxing position as TCE, would have no problem being an event planner. He was marvelous to work with, allowed us our own vision and offered what he could appropriately offer to make this occasion memorable. My sisters Sherry and Libby helped. We shifted tables here and there, tried various colors of tablecloths (we have quantities) and eventually created the flow we wanted. Libby’s black tablecloths flowed sweetly around the tables. We lifted large vases of ripening tulips, just ready to burst, onto each table. Platters, empty for the moment, were arranged here and there to make sure they would fit. 

Over by the doors to David’s courtroom we arranged a couple extra tables for all those awards that have been sitting in boxes in our house. “Are you sure we want to display all this stuff Cori?” Dave asked, feeling rather like he was preparing for his own funeral.

“Well,” I answered, “If there was ever a time when showing this stuff would be appropriate, this is it.” 

Two large tables were filled with evidence of David’s years of meaningful service. From a plaque of appreciation for creating the Farmington Area Baseball League (the precursor to Farmington Parks and Rec) to the most recent glass plaques honoring him as President of the National Council of Trial Court Judges, and all of the in-betweens. As we scooted things over to make room for more, I was struck at how many places he had left his mark. Those two full tables had nothing of his family, except a photo of him and his dad and son from his chambers. We would have filled so much more had we included his family and church service. But this was a time to celebrate his influence as a public servant.

These are the T H I N G S that made the day special. They are only things, but they did make it sweet.

A serious award sits in front of a funny cross stitch
we found last month in an antique store at one of his
national judicial conferences.

 

When you live a life as full of service as Dave has,
you end up with a LOT of tokens of appreciation.

More tokens. The very large painting was made by
Tom Plummer, sho also made one of me.
Sadly Tom passed away unexpectedly last week,

...here are just a few I happened to snap some photos of...

our daughter Annie crocheted this darling
Judge Connors doll for him. Best award.

This is the plaque atop one of the seven various
award clocks he has been given 

Just for the record, here’s the menu for what we served, because that was where so much of my energy went before this event. I think of food in Yin and Yang, savory and sweet. 

Photos first:

I made one hundred shot glasses filled with lemon mousse. 
I'll share the recipe in another post later.

 
The YIN:
Croissant sandwiches
Caprese on garlic toast (tomatoes, mozzarella, fresh basil with balsamic vinegar and olive oil)
Meatballs in homemade marinara sauce with melted mozzarella cheese
Fresh melon and tangerines
Italian olives
 
The YANG:
Lemon mousse
Mint chocolate brownies
Chocolate eclairs
Andes Mints (an homage to our wedding reception when these mints were a new product)
Other nuts and sweets
 
 

2023/ 14. I AM DAVE CONNORS' FRIEND (Chief Justice Durrant)

Chief Justice Matthew B Durrant
Utah Supreme Court

Today's delight was to listen once again to the remarks of Chief Justice Matthew B Durrant of the Utah Supreme Court at David's retirement ceremony this week. I transcribed as I listened to the recording, tapping away sentence by sentence in the listen-pause-look manner of an unskilled typist. I never learned the art of not looking at the keyboard when I type having grown-up pre-computer age and never having owned a typewriter. Frankly I was grateful I had taken the time to listen slowly and capture the words one at a time because I was able to see a few things:

First, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court is a humble man. A person with his position and accomplishments could be full of himself. Instead, he was thoughtful, sincere and gracious with a down-to-earth manner that charmed me. His thoughtfulness increases my natural respect for him.

Second, though his experience with David is quite different from mine, our opinion of Dave is the same. This speaks of David's integrity. He is the same person regardless of where he is, the company he is in, and the emotional energy of the space. All of the speakers at his retirement ceremony were witnesses to that fact.

Third, all of the many beyond-office-hours that David spent in service to people other than his family, as City Councilman, Mayor, coach, church leader, state and national ABA leader, and on behalf of the underserved in legal guardianship and other areas...all the things that kept him from relaxing on the couch at night...they were worth the sacrifice. They contributed, and continue to contribute, to his healthy self-definition. These things increase his capacity to love his fellow man, and therefore by nature make him happy. Who would not want to live with someone who is so happy? David is the happiest man I know. 

Here are the words of the first speaker at Dave's retirement ceremony:

Matthew B Durrant

Chief Justice of the Utah Supreme Court

March 9, 2023

I'm sitting here thinking how grateful I am I was not put on the spot having to introduce the members of my family (as Judge Connors just did) because its a big family. I'm sure I'd freeze up on a few names. I was also thinking how grateful I am that this is not my jury here. I think I'd be up a river with this jury. But maybe I'd be ok because they could probably never agree on a jury foreman. (Sitting and Senior Judges occupied the jury seats for this ceremony)

As Judge Connors was introducing his beautiful family I was reminded of a time when I was introduced. This was many many years ago when I was an undergraduate - insecure, nervous, undergraduate at BYU, and got an invitation to a professor’s home for a social gathering. I was excited about it. 

I went to this gathering, and to start off he asked us to sit in a circle, and each of us was asked to introduce the person to our left. It made its way around the circle and when it got to the fellow on my right he said “This is Matthew Durrant. His father is a religion professor here at BYU. My fathers name is George Durrant. He was a well known religion professor at BYU. And then he said his brother is Deven Durrant the basketball player." At that time my brother Deven was a star basketball player at BYU. Then he paused a minute he said, “He’s never really done anything himself but he is related to a lot of people.” And probably my chief credential remains that I am related to a lot of wonderful people and I can call a lot of wonderful people my friend. People like Ron Russell, people like the judges here, and on this occasion David Connors.

I am David Connors' friend and so I must I must be OK. That’s what I tell myself. 

If I had the authority I would instruct him not to retire, but sadly I do not have that authority. I hate to see him go, I just hate it. Probably for all the same reasons the judges here hate to see him go and that’s because he is a wonderful colleague and a judge really of a towering reputation. 

Judge Connors is known as a judge committed to fairness, and he marries that commitment with an extraordinary intellect and levels of preparation that I think are unmatched. He cares about each litigant. He cares about each case. And it shows. I know I am preaching to the choir. We all know David Connors is a great judge. But I think something that is not as well known is what I an extraordinary judicial leader he is. He’s great at his day job, being a judge, but his commitment goes well beyond that. We have a large judiciary many facilities many many employees throughout the state, and we govern our judiciary through something called the Judicial Council. It’s unique among states in the sense that other states have judicial councils, but this is a judicial council with the level of authority that we don’t see in any of the other states. So the judicial council is the true leader of the judiciary. It’s not me. The Supreme Court plays a separate role in a certain area, but the leader of the judiciary is the Judicial Council. The council sets policy for the citizens of the state. And then the council is charged with being forward-looking in anticipating changes. The members of the council are elected by the different kinds of courts; juvenile courts, district courts, justice courts, we have a bar representative. I say all this to say that these are already leaders among the judiciary in whom other judges have vested authority to make decisions on their behalf through a democratic process. As a result, we get great people on the Judicial Council. Our judiciary is in good hands with these people. In recent years, the council has taken a much more active role in the leadership of the judiciary. They’ve been less inclined to defer to our court administrator or other administrators. They really kind of ventured out boldly, really seized the reins of governance. For many years the Judicial Council has led the judiciary, but never quite in the active way that we’re seeing now. The reason I’m telling you all this is to say it’s been a remarkable advancement, I think, for our judiciary. And  right at the heart of that, one of the key central players in the process, has been David Connors. He has brought the leadership skills that he has cultivated over his service as a leader in the community through the years to our court system. He has played an absolutely critical role in bringing our court governance to the point we’re at now. And that’s why I was so delighted to be asked to speak at this. Is it a chance for me to thank him for his remarkable contribution. Even among all this collection of leaders, judicial leaders, he stands out as a leader. I wish I could convey to you the depth of his contributions and the deep respect in which he is held by other members of this governing body. His legacy will long live on. 

That is why I hate to see this man retire. That is why if I had the authority right now I will rescind that letter. This is my chance to personally thank you David for all you’ve done I am deeply grateful. Thank you.

2023/13. LOOKING BACK DAYS

When she was 64 years old, just at the point when she could sit down and look back a bit on a life well lived, take a sip of coffee, then look forward to a whole beautiful future, Dave’s mom was killed in a car accident. That tragedy changed all of us. I sorrow that she did not really get that chance to look back, and we did not get the chance to tell her how much she means to us and how well she did what she did. 

Being aware of how fortunate we are to have lived this long and to have the chance to look back is one of the blessings of the sudden loss of Helen Connors. We cherish all our moments a little more.

We all get (if we will take them) little looking back days; the first day of kindergarten when a parent realizes their baby is no longer a baby, graduation days, weddings and of course funerals. I consider all of these grounding days, times when we stop and center ourselves. We spend most of our time looking ahead. This is needful. It keeps us alive, and in motion. The occasional pause to look back can be powerful. We would benefit from more spirit-driven looking backs. 

Yesterday was a looking back day.

David’s courtroom was filled beyond capacity, with overflow in Judge Edwards’ courtroom, to honor him as he steps down from the bench. He has spent the last 15 years serving the people of Utah as a state district court judge. Judge David M. Connors, 2^nd District Court. He hears everything from marriage to murder, and all of the in-betweens.

For the next week I’d like to spend my Lent Writing days visiting various aspects of the events of yesterday, because putting all of it in words is overwhelming for one sitting. I'll begin by looking back to the first few months of his judgeship and see how far we have come by the end of the week.

One of the first cases Dave had to hear was a very public and tragic murder case. A small boy had been tortured, murdered, dismembered and buried by his stepfather and mother. David was assigned to be the first judge to hear the horrific details of the case and decide whether to bind-over the stepfather and assign bail. I attended the hearing. 

The following Sunday I was sitting in a circle in the bishops office at our church. I was serving as Young Women’s President, and this was our weekly meeting with leaders of the various organizations in our ward. We began our meetings with prayer, but first we discussed who among our congregation might need our most purposeful prayers in their behalf. Then we joined together in prayer. We had our collection of names, and rose to kneel, when Paul Rees, another leader on our team, asked if we could add one more name. The bishop said “of course.” Paul then said, “I feel like we need to pray for Dave Connors.” 

I turned to Paul and said, “What’s wrong with Dave?”

“Nothing physical, I don’t think” Paul said. “It’s just that he has to hear such terrible things and make such weighty decisions. I can’t even imagine.”

Paul was right. David did need the Lord’s help, not only that week, but every subsequent week. He needed his higher power to help him make appropriate decisions in applying the law, but also in not wounding his spirit as he dipped himself into such dirty waters.

Today I stand as a witness that Judge Connors has been resilient, even-tempered, applied sound judgement and retained his good nature in spite of having to deal with the worst of human behavior. He found his sweet spot professionally. His wisdom, personality and intelligence are well suited for judgeship and I am so grateful he has been able to serve.

Here's a copy of the invitation that went out to announce his retirement as well as a copy of the brief bio on the back of the program.

2023/12. GEAR

Short on time, I resorted to an online random word generator to trigger todays writing. The word I got was GEAR.

You can tell an awful lot about a person without talking to them, or hearing about them. If it’s a person with any sort of passion you will be able to read them by the gear they drag along with them. For instance, waiting in line at the airport, you happen to be stuck in the eternal zig zag feeding into the stack of x-ray machines at TSA. The person three spots ahead of you is pulling a reinforced Gore-Tex bag with a familiar embroidered emblem sewn into the corner. His shoes are super high end hiking boots, broken in but not ragged. His shorts say Patagonia and his backpack cost him a good multi-hundred chunk of change, unless it was given to him by the company, which looks to be a real possibility. He wears an orange nano-puff jacket and his tightly woven hat bears a logo with four letters, the vowel of which carries an umlaut over top.

I’ve never met the guy before and am likely never going to meet him unless he sits beside me on the plane, but I venture to guess I could tell you a bit about him: Where he spends his free time, where he shops, even what kind of socks he’s wearing under this lightweight trouser legs.

People who peek into the back of Dave’s car can guess something about him, too. They’ll see a set of golf clubs, a hand pulled titanium golf cart, a pair of white golf shoes… all evidence of what he might do after work or on weekends. Not all the time, but its surely a part of who he is.

His fishing rod is custom. If someone asks him what kind of pole he has, he knows they are in the realm of amateur and can refer them to me to exchange fish tales. 

People who walk past our open garage, and trust me, there are a lot of them, can see by the shelves stacked by the garage door that there’s a need for sound amplification in our lives. The shelves are loaded with speakers, mixers, mic stands, speaker stands. Bulging black bags filled with cords and mics. Folded guitar stands, metal music stands… the gear my roadie and I have lugged around for decades. There’s a heavy-duty folding cart for lugging the heavy stuff. There’s a big set of Ramsa speakers and a 16 channel Mackie board, a medium set of Ramsas, and the small Samson set. We know exactly what to load into the back of the van depending on the show and the size of the venue. Anyone can tell by the quality of the gear that this isn’t Karaoke gear. But we are also not going to have the quality that Robinette Sound gives us for our big shows. We know when what we have isn’t good enough, and thank goodness we know who has not only the gear but the talent to use it when we need it.

People who swim in certain waters can tell a good bit about others who swim with them just by the nature of the gear they have. I’ll get a nod when guitarists ask what kind of guitar I have and I answer, “Well, I have a few. My best ones are Martin, Collings and Taylor and my current favorite, a custom Stika.” If you know, you know. If you don’t, it frankly doesn’t matter.

Yes, indeed, one can presume a lot just by looking at someone’s gear. On the other hand, I’ve seen some pretty masterful art emerge from inferior tools. The touch of a master’s hand trumps the gear. And then there are the people who stack the gear in their favor, but the talent just isn’t there to take full advantage of it.

Those kind of divine experiences, when you see someone pull of some pretty dope bike moves on his kid’s teeny bike, or a musician makes a cheap guitar vibrate and sing, or an iPhone produces some remarkable photos…  when crayons produce incredible art…those experiences are a reminder that gear can say a lot, but talent says more.

2023/11. ON BEING ALIVE

When I was small, specifically five-years old, I remember going through the small field in back of our house on Grace Street in Whitehall PA, all the way back to the rock YMCA building. There was, as part of that property, a small orchard of dwarf apple trees, their low hanging arms freshly covered with thick pale apple blossoms. Their fragrance was intoxicating. I found myself drawn there by the scent, and once arrived, enfolded by the texture and the color, the way sunlight dappled through the flowery tentacles. I inhaled the whole aesthetic. What child would not crave such a warm Springtime embrace? I inhaled until I almost hyperventilated. Perhaps it was this fragrant overdose that sent me to a sort of put-of-body experience, the climax of which found me grabbing my own arm with the opposing hand and in a spark of simultaneous revelation call out; “I’m ALIVE!” 

It was so profound that I can revisit it in a complete whole-body memory experience even now, six decades later. I think I may have slipped the bonds of Heaven with a tiny cell of my premortal life still glowing. Perhaps a teeny tiny particle of memory slid into my earthly baggage to keep the wonder of this human existence glowing inside.

Yesterday I spent a little quiet time, pre-Sunday afternoon nap, pondering the fact that I am right now having my human experience. I feel a melancholy sadness at the way I got sucked into being so critical of how I’ve worn my flesh, or how it has responded to my spirit’s perceived needs and allowed myself to dwell in largeness all my adult life. I’ve felt a ridiculous desire to make apologies for something that should offend no one. I know that now. But sadly, I have existed in this flesh with a goodly measure of shame rather than delight. Seriously! What a tragedy. I should have been floating on the lake all these years in a swimsuit rather than covering up. 

This is all water under my bridges. I am here today, still alive, still generally well and of a relatively sound mind. I have had 65 years on this earth, all of them in this body, and I want to acknowledge before God and all who will hear that I am grateful for every inch of flesh, every cell, each deepening wrinkle and sagging sack of skin. Even pain is a reminder that I am right now, at this very moment, living the dream of each pre-mortal spirit.

My Sarah Love, born on my 22nd birthday.

Every March 5^th I say a special prayer of thanks for the woman who nurtured me from conception until the day she died. I celebrate the wonderous magic that both my mother and I gave birth to daughters on the fifth of March and the nineteenth of November. Don’t you think there is something super-mortal about that? 

And now, to top off all that magic, I am also acquiring the looks of my mom. We didn’t look that much alike all my life, but now that she’s gone, I’m starting to morph into the image her. Lucky me!

Me. Painted by my friend Tom Plummer.

Mom. Red is best!

We Parrish’s tend to be large folk. Inside and out. I’ll take that inheritance.

God, Himself, is full of largess.