2023/13. LOOKING BACK DAYS

When she was 64 years old, just at the point when she could sit down and look back a bit on a life well lived, take a sip of coffee, then look forward to a whole beautiful future, Dave’s mom was killed in a car accident. That tragedy changed all of us. I sorrow that she did not really get that chance to look back, and we did not get the chance to tell her how much she means to us and how well she did what she did. 

Being aware of how fortunate we are to have lived this long and to have the chance to look back is one of the blessings of the sudden loss of Helen Connors. We cherish all our moments a little more.

We all get (if we will take them) little looking back days; the first day of kindergarten when a parent realizes their baby is no longer a baby, graduation days, weddings and of course funerals. I consider all of these grounding days, times when we stop and center ourselves. We spend most of our time looking ahead. This is needful. It keeps us alive, and in motion. The occasional pause to look back can be powerful. We would benefit from more spirit-driven looking backs. 

Yesterday was a looking back day.

David’s courtroom was filled beyond capacity, with overflow in Judge Edwards’ courtroom, to honor him as he steps down from the bench. He has spent the last 15 years serving the people of Utah as a state district court judge. Judge David M. Connors, 2^nd District Court. He hears everything from marriage to murder, and all of the in-betweens.

For the next week I’d like to spend my Lent Writing days visiting various aspects of the events of yesterday, because putting all of it in words is overwhelming for one sitting. I'll begin by looking back to the first few months of his judgeship and see how far we have come by the end of the week.

One of the first cases Dave had to hear was a very public and tragic murder case. A small boy had been tortured, murdered, dismembered and buried by his stepfather and mother. David was assigned to be the first judge to hear the horrific details of the case and decide whether to bind-over the stepfather and assign bail. I attended the hearing. 

The following Sunday I was sitting in a circle in the bishops office at our church. I was serving as Young Women’s President, and this was our weekly meeting with leaders of the various organizations in our ward. We began our meetings with prayer, but first we discussed who among our congregation might need our most purposeful prayers in their behalf. Then we joined together in prayer. We had our collection of names, and rose to kneel, when Paul Rees, another leader on our team, asked if we could add one more name. The bishop said “of course.” Paul then said, “I feel like we need to pray for Dave Connors.” 

I turned to Paul and said, “What’s wrong with Dave?”

“Nothing physical, I don’t think” Paul said. “It’s just that he has to hear such terrible things and make such weighty decisions. I can’t even imagine.”

Paul was right. David did need the Lord’s help, not only that week, but every subsequent week. He needed his higher power to help him make appropriate decisions in applying the law, but also in not wounding his spirit as he dipped himself into such dirty waters.

Today I stand as a witness that Judge Connors has been resilient, even-tempered, applied sound judgement and retained his good nature in spite of having to deal with the worst of human behavior. He found his sweet spot professionally. His wisdom, personality and intelligence are well suited for judgeship and I am so grateful he has been able to serve.

Here's a copy of the invitation that went out to announce his retirement as well as a copy of the brief bio on the back of the program.