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| "...if you can't be with the one you love, Honey, love the one you're with." |
If you're going to be stuck alone with somebody for an indeterminate period of time, it would be dandy if you liked them. Love matters, yes, but when you get down to the day-in, day-out of closeness, "like" is the word of choice. If you have to dig deep into the love department, it usually means they, or you, are not being particularly likeable. If you are reading this now, at the end of March 2020, you probably know exactly what I mean. I do not know a single human being who is not feeling whacked and gobsmacked by the current pandemic that has confined most of us to social isolation. We are hunkered down in our homes, or apartments, with the people who share the same address, whether or not they are family. We are all trying to keep ourselves functionally conscious while dealing with a massive overdose of closeness.
Libby told me tonight about a teenage neighbor who decided, just for fun, that he was not going to shower until this thing was over. He thought it was funny. The rest of his family jumped him last night and dragged him into the shower.
Every time I think about certain people, like my friend with two autistic kids, or my widowed neighbors who live alone, or the multiple friends and family who have multiple kids they are now "home schooling", having to deal with multiple teachers’ online requirements for each of their kids, I pause and say a prayer with their specific names attached, because there's not much more I can do from my isolated space. I have so much respect for everybody, seriously, EVERYBODY who is enduring this.
My first personal friend was hospitalized today with Covid 19. His wife, my dear friend, also has it at home. It feels like the fog is creeping in through the cracks in the door and I can't stop it.
Dave was just talking a few minutes ago about something or other, saying: “when this whole thing is over and we are able to gather again….”
I responded, "I wonder how much personal sorrow there will be for us between now and then?"
We have a sincere general sorrow, for humankind, for specific areas and cultures. But I can't say, because I don’t know, how deep the personal tragedy may be for us. I try not to fixate on that, of course, because I do not have much power over it, besides following the rules set out to keep us safe. But I also allow myself to consider it occasionally, because it leads me to respect the parameters set around us, and sends me to an attitude of prayer and gratitude for what I do have... and what I do not have.
As this day winds to its close, I want to acknowledge that I am most blessed to actually LIKE the person I am stuck with. I love him, yes, but the fact that I like him, and he likes me, just makes this whole murky mess more bearable. Of course, there are moments. We are humans, after all, though there are times I think Dave may be one of the 3 Nephites who were granted their heart's desire to not taste of death but to continue to do good on the earth. Then again, I've seen, in 42 years of marriage, evidence to the contrary, even if it's rare.
Today my Covid Pal celebrates one more run around the sun. I'm grateful we are still running this race together. (Well, he is running. I'm hobbling. But he is really nice about waiting for me.)
Happy Birthday, Dave.
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| My favorite roomie. With the German Chocolate cake I made today, because I make it a habit to always have 40 extra pounds of butter in our fridge or freezer. Seriously, I've done this for years. Stockpiled butter. I cook a lot. (#anditshows) Everything's better with butter. |
(coronavirus deaths to date: 37,830 - totals taken from the website worldometer.com)
